I fell down the rabbit hole. In my process of grieving, I turned I’m ok, into a lie even I believed. It’s not that I’m not ok, but I am very far away from being ok. Yet, I started believing the lie that I was fine, I repeated it so many times, whenever anyone would […]
Ryker your 1st birthday is coming up, and I still haven’t decided what we are going to do, i keep changing my mind. Its a big occasion, but its also a mournful occasion. And just to think, this time last year I was waiting impatiently for you my little guy to make an entrance into […]
A new year. Really, just another year. Nothing new, same shit, different day. I tried to be positive, I tried to be happy that 2015 is over, and I am, I’m just not glad that 2016 has started. I thought i would, i don’t know, feel so e kind of relief that 2015 is over, […]
As 2015 comes to the end, I can’t say I’m not glad to see the backside of this horribly, disastrous year. I’ve been through so much heart ache this year that if I could forget this year I would. So bring on 2016, because it literally could not get any worse than this year. I’ve […]
Christmas is almost upon us, if your not from Australia then let me describe what our Christmas is like; there is no ‘white christmas’, instead we have 40 degree day that makes you sweat and wonder what life would be like in the snow, the aircon is fully pumping and kids are usually out by […]
Hope is just a word
A baby’s room untouched
Results from Ryker’s Post Mortem and some big words to explain it all. (Links are attached to the large words for definitions)
No beaming of lights for me at the funeral of my son.
Emotions that can cause havoc.