On to my 2nd glass of sweet white wine, and it has got me thinking. I don’t want to be able to be sipping this ice cold wine, I don’t want the little buzz I get after a glass (It only takes 1 these days), I don’t want to WANT to feel this buzz. How can this buzz make me feel so different? So changed?
Tim and I decided about 4 month’s ago that we wanted to ‘try’ again, and so we have. But nothing has happened, and I am sick of this nothing. Even deciding to ‘try’ again was a hard decision, and then when nothing happens it’s like a massive slap in the face. As if to say you had your chance already, now you have to wait longer.
I know when I feel this buzz though that all go’s away, I don’t think about wanting ‘try’, I don’t think about my loss of Ryker, I don’t think about how lonely I feel when left to my own devices. This buzz makes me thoughtless. Even if I only have 2 glasses of my favorite sweet white wine.