Rantings of a Selfish Mind

How are pregnant women so ungrateful for what they have? Today a few friends of mine (on a support group page I’m a member of on Facebook), posted a link to a pregnant woman who is and I quote

“Recently found out we are pregnant with a girl. I was really hoping for another boy for my son to play with. I’m struggling with the gender disappointment. It’s going to be loved so please don’t go straight to ‘some people struggle to have kids, just be grateful’. I am grateful and do struggle with fertility, but just feeling a little low.”*

I want to rant and rave at this unknown ignorant woman. But I know I can not. She is simply ignorant of how fragile life really is. Life can be taken away in a pin point of a moment. And it doesn’t return. I doubt this woman actually realises how many babies die each year.

‘Ignorance is bliss’

fits this moment precisely. This woman, this blissfully pregnant woman can not even imagine the pain and loss of a baby. That baby she will once is born love and treasure, and probably feel guilty if any thing should ever happen to that sweet baby.

Do not get me wrong, I am completely angered by this woman, to be gender disappointed is like saying your disappointed at a child that turned out to be gay. It’s something that baby/child has no control over, and your emotions and actions can be controlled. I’ve just realised my time ranting at this woman could be better spent ranting about people who complete and utterly piss me off.

There are many people who I get angry with on social media. As I have mentioned before parent’s who complain about not going out, women who put fake “I’m pregnant” status’ on Facebook and a new one pregnant people who still act irresponsible with life, I have a certain friend who has told me that she hates being pregnant. I’m constantly angered at pregnant women who smoke during their pregnancies, and it seems now that I hate it so much I constantly see it happen. I honestly cannot believe there are people who think like this about babies/pregnancy. Especially when there are so many of us in this world struggling and who would give the world to have their precious bundles of joy here, and yet people who tend to think like this seem to have it too easy.

Welcome to the world of an indecisive, selfish mind that cannot keep from one subject to another. Welcome to a mind where seeing these post’s and comments anger, frighten and sadden me. I see and hear these daily and its a constant reminded of a mother I could have been had I not been awoken from my ignorance.

*I cannot tell you the person of the post as they have posted anonymously and I don’t want them getting hate mail as she is still pregnant. It was only posted 3 days ago.


5 thoughts on “Rantings of a Selfish Mind

  1. People don’t often appreciate what they’ve got until it’s too late but people always have a grumble about whatever’s going on in their lives and quite frankly should wake up to themselves. It doesn’t worry me that somebody complains about having a cold even though I live with serious health issues because to me no matter who you are, having a cold is annoying. Being a Mum isn’t easy either…no matter how much you love your kids and sometimes people just need to vent. Of course, given what you’re going through, it must seem so unfair that these whingers have what you’ve lost and don’t appreciate. That’s before you even get to the neglect cases etc. It’s only natural that they would trigger the anger which you rightly feel.
    I don’t know what you do with that. I’d be thinking about staying away from all of that at the moment and find some blokes to hang out with and get away from the baby Mummy talk. Be kind to yourself. I think there is the Bonnie Babes Foundation. Maybe mixing with people in a similar boat would be helpful.
    Thinking back to when I was single and wanting to meet Mr Right, the last thing you’d do to yourself is arrange a night out with a whole lot of smoochy couples. You hang out with other singles and complain about the dating scene etc etc
    Anyway, thinking of you. xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Rowena, I am a member of Bears of Hope Support Group and a couple other beareved groups for both Mum’s and Dad’s. For a while I stayed far away from anything related to pregnancy, newborn and children, except for my family. But to slowly input myself into these postings/conversations I’m learning to deal with them. Quite often I won’t voice my opionon of other mother’s and how they vent or live their lives, but sometimes it just gets too much.
      Dneika xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Bears of Hope sounds really beautiful. My friend was given a white bear when her baby girl died. She has a few photos but that bear is everything to her…9 years later. She took the bear to the Easter Show and it celebrates special occasions with her and her husband. My daughter is almost the exact age as hers and we look somewhat similar with our dark hair and I’m sure it’s very hard for her. Then, added to this mix, I’ve been fighting for my life and my kids could have lost me. The whole painful thing doesn’t make a lot of sense. Take care xx Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh man I love to rant about pregnant people and new borns! I hate that loss has made me a little bitter or sensitive (whatever you want to call it) but your right – they have no idea! I dont want to rain on peoples parade, they have every right to be excited and/or whatever other things they feel but I cannot help that my baby died, and because she died babies, pregnancy, whines, moans, ungratefulness, and anything else related to babies triggers my grief…saying things like this isnt us its our grief and therefore if we feel we need to let it out..until others have felt the soul wrenching loss of their child they will not know the anger, the hurt, the awkwardness of hearing, reading and seeing anything to do with babies ! x

    Liked by 1 person

    • I sometimes become a little nasty when pregnant women people are ungrateful, it’s become a really bad habit, just 2 day’s ago, I had a ‘friend’, complain she wouldn’t be receiving PRESENTS on Mother’s Day. I didn’t know presents where the point of Mother’s Day and I not so kindly let her know.
      People seem to forget that our innocence with pregnancy is gone. And we become bitter, angry and awkward, I love seeing babies, I really do, I just don’t want the dialog with the parent’s that usually go along with it! But pregnant women have turned out to be one of my biggest triggers so far!
      Be kind Mama,
      Dneika X

      Liked by 1 person

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