The cot is still up, the bassinet still assembled. The changing table still sits in the corner of his room, with his baby bath sitting neatly underneath. His drawers are filled with baby clothes from 0000 to 1’s. His books are waiting to be read, with his stuffed toys waiting to be played with. The play mat’s lying on the ground patiently hoping to be used. The blue growth chart that his Aunty bought him is still hanging on the wall with no markings. This is some of the things stuffed into Ryker’s room at the moment, everything.
I’ve been told not to rush. But is there such a thing as grieving too slow? I’ve been into Ryker’s bedroom which is stuffed with all his things maybe once or twice. But each time was only to either put something in there or to take something out. I’ve not looked around; I’ve not even grabbed his unused nappies out to give to someone in need.
I can’t agree with what to do with his room, do I pack everything away, do I sell everything, or do I leave it as is. How do you decide what to do with a room? I know sooner or later I will have to decide, most likely sooner, but what do you do with a room that was meant to be being used?
All Ryker’s little things like towels, face washers, shampoo and conditioner, baby soap, baby washing liquid, his pram, his high-chair and even his car seat are in that room. Toy’s he wouldn’t of been able to play with for at least a couple more months are in his room. Then there’s the two nappy bags that where half already ready to be used.The bottle steamer and all his bottles, baby cook books and baby gates.
My life was prepared for Ryker, I had everything I would ever possibly need ready for Ryker. So what do you do when your life is prepared and you’re not ready to move on?